Line of Sight

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:53:41 -0700

I vividly remember when I first noticed that I needed glasses. I was in the fourth grade and one day, completely out of the blue, I just couldn’t see the blackboard. Turns out my vision was 20/200 (that’s damn near legally blind). It happened overnight and I’ve never forgotten how fast it changed.

Fast forward to now.

I’ve been wearing contact lenses since I was twelve. I won’t do the math for you but that’s a long time, most of my life, in fact. So, I put my lenses in the other day and after a few moments, I started getting a headache. The vision in my right eye was blurry. Figuring it was a dirty lens, I cleaned it. No help. I replaced it. No help.

Turns out the prescription in my right eye has changed. Boom! Just like that.

So, not wanting to keep wearing my glasses, I went into my Optometrist today for my yearly exam and to get new lenses (lucky for me I’m almost out of lenses anyway). The doc does the standard, read the lowest line thing, and then uses the big apparatus with the prism light and the magnifying lens that he uses to look at the interior of the eye.

Then he does it again, this time with an extra lens I’ve never seen before. Since I’ve been doing this longer than he has and I’ve never seen this, I’m starting to think something is up. Now I was diagnosed with Diabetes about five months ago, but that’s under control and my blood sugar numbers are almost normal, so I guessing it’s not that.

After this exam, he sits and checks over my past exam reports for almost five minutes. Now I know something’s up. Finally he tells me that, if I were a family member, he’d advise me not to continue to wear contact lenses. I’ve been wearing them so long that a significant amount of veins have pushed into my cornea in an effort to feed the eye where the lenses cover it. It’s been a minor problem for years, but apparently it’s gotten much worse in the last year. If it continues, I could actually start to lose vision.

So that’s it. No more contact lenses. The end of an era.

It’s kind of funny. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, a friend of my told me that I would “grieve” over my life never being the same because I have to take daily meds. Nope. No such thing. This, however, has me nostalgic. I got contacts because wearing glasses as a kid was pure torment. I hate glasses. With a burning, unholy passion. Now I have to wear them all over again.

I suppose I could always get laser surgery, but I’m old enough now that I need reading glasses to see the small print. Not to mention the expense.

Oh well. That, as they say, is life. So if you see me in glasses, you’ll know why.

Contemplating Seppuku

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 17:50:00 -0700

I have a confession to make, it's been three weeks since I did any serious writing. I'm supposed to be finished with my next book right now. Fact is I'm a little less than halfway through. I'd like to blame it on the holidays or the fact that I'm juggling writing, being Mr. Mom, and taking a class in programing. Heck I'd settle for blaming it on my rampant ADD, I'm easy that way.

Truth is, however, that I'm not writing because I'm just not seeing any future in it. The writing industry is changing rapidly right now and even if I got a contract on my last book, who knows if the market will be there when it comes out? Then there's the whole e-self-publishing route where no one really knows what's going on but we know that some people are selling millions of books. Quite frankly it sounds like there are better odds playing the lottery. (For the mathematically challenged, playing the lottery is only slightly less risky than throwing your money down the garbage disposer.)

So, for the last three weeks or so, I've been kicking an idea around in the back of my head.

What if I just quit?

I mean lets face it, while I have been published four times, I haven't cracked the level of success where I can actually make a living. I used to be a hotshot computer programmer and, while my skills are very rusty, I can whip them back into shape. Programmers make good money (provided you move out of Utah, which I could do). Heck, I've worked in the game industry and have contacts there, maybe it's time to resurrect that dream.

So what if I quit?

I don't have a fan base to speak of, so there's no one to disappoint. Writing is an incredibly time consuming activity. Who knows what I could do if I got that time back?
So that's what I've been thinking. Maybe it's time to commit professional seppuku and move on. It wouldn't be my first career that went that way.

I wrote the previous thoughts this morning while my youngest played with her barbie and the sink full of dishes glared at me, meaningfully. I got busy (though I studiously ignored the dishes) and didn't post it. Then a few minutes ago, while checking my email, I got a newsletter from a professional friend of mine, a writer of great talent, renown, and success. It was his periodic newsletter to friends and aspiring writers and it's message was simply; "Don't Quit." The letter detailed the struggles of top shelf writers like J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and James Joyce. I have to admit I'd heard most of it before and didn't really pay much attention. What I needed was the subject.

Don't quit.

I'm a religious man and I believe God has a plan for everybody. I believe you have to go and find it, and that he'll lead you to it if you're listening. I've been praying for guidance as I moved through the black labyrinth of the last few weeks. If this isn't the answer I've been looking for, I don't know what is.

So that's it then. The wakizashi goes back in the scabbard and I move on.

I've got twenty chapters left to write in Traven's Gambit (my latest book). I'm going to take tomorrow off to get my head right and hit the ground running on Monday. I plan to be done five weeks from now on the 27th of February. From there, it will be off to the editor for a few weeks then back to me for revisions. That should put the whole shootin' match over by Easter.

Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.

Playing Games vs Making Men

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:12:48 -0600

I watched my son play his third ever football game. I have to say it was impressive to see the changes in him in just four weeks. I once heard a high school coach say that football isn’t about making plays, it’s about making men. I gotta say, I think he was right.

My son’s team is pretty good to begin with, in three games, they’re undefeated. This time they held their opponents scoreless. When he first started playing, my son was a bit timid. He didn’t really know how to hit opposing players or push through the line. All those lessons his mother and I taught him about being polite and respectful took a little too well.

This game things really clicked. He was hitting hard, pushing through the line, and even got in on a few tackles. Better yet, he’s having a blast doing it. He’s discovering his abilities and learning to rely on his training. Those build confidence, and not that phony confidence school “self-esteem” programs produce, but real confidence, the kind that comes from skill born of hard work.

I’m proud of my boy, proud that he won, but win, lose, or draw - this has been one of the best experiences he’s ever had.

There’s no Such Thing as a Digital Hardcover

Tue, 6 Sep 2011 10:50:53 -0600

I had a discussion with a writer friend of mine a few weeks ago and it's been bothering me ever since. We were discussing the ins and outs of self publishing, a topic on which my friend is incredibly knowledgeable, when the discussion of ebooks came up. During the discussion, I made what I thought was the self-evident point that ebooks cost too much. I was stunned when my friend disagreed.

Needless to say, the idea that an ebook costs more than a paperback is patently absurd. It's just the publishing companies trying desperately to hold back the tide of readers migrating to e-readers and force the medium to stay on paper. I can't blame them, publishers have invested billions in printing, shipping, and storage facilities for physical books. They need to protect those investments and none of those things are needed to publish an ebook.

Now my friend's argument was that, when you consider the price of a hardcover, usually $20-$25, then a $14 ebook is reasonable. After all, if you take out the cost of printing, shipping, warehousing, and the retailer's cut, the legitimate cost of an ebook should be around the $15 mark, right?

Well ... no.

My friend's argument, while correct on its face makes an assumption that I don't think ebook buyers are going to be willing to make. You see, publishers have divided up their revenue streams in an effort to maximize their profits (no crime there). To do this, they release popular books in hardcover first, then follow them with a paperback release about six months later. By doing this, they force die hard fans to buy the more expensive, and profitable, hardbacks or wait six months to read their favorite author. Its the same tactic movie companies use, not releasing the DVD of a movie until six months after it's out of the theaters.

The problem comes when the publishers release an ebook along with the hardcover. In order to meet the higher revenue yield of the hardcover, they have to charge more for the ebook. An ebook hardcover, if you will. Later, when the soft back comes out, they'll (hopefully) drop the price, but until then, you're going to pay through the nose for the ebook. Worse, if they do drop the price later, those that come after you are getting the exact same book you got, just at less than half the price. In essence you paid a lot more for the privilege or reading it early.

My argument is that readers aren't going to perceive early reading rights as real value, they're going to see it as simple usury. That's a serious problem. That's a dangerous problem.

I know it's been over ten years since the music industry almost died, but lets consider what happened there and apply it here. Back in the early 2000s music came on CDs that cost about $20 a pop. Consumers felt ripped off, especially when there was only one or two good songs on an album. So what did those consumers do, everyone from college kids to octogenarian grandmothers?

They stole it.

Sites like Napster and Limewire exploded with millions of songs being downloaded every minute of every day. Billions of dollars were lost by record companies who were perceived as greedy and uncaring of their customers. Today the publishing industry runs the risk of looking just like big music. Worse for them, the biggest of ebooks is tiny compared to a single song, making it far easier to steal.

It took the introduction of iTunes, with their buy-any-song-you-want model and 99 cent price point to save the record industry. In short, Steve Jobs and Apple made music too cheap to steal. The publishing industry needs to take a long look at what happened to the record industry because let met tell you, folks, a $15 ebook is NOT too cheap to steal.